Happy Holidays,

The question is, are you happy?

Hmm.

Look around.

Most people today aren’t happy.

They may seem happy, but I can tell you that most are not.

Mainly around this time of the year.

Why? Well, live in a giant facade.

A society that programs us to be happier around Christmas.

Why?

There are many reasons.

From religion to capitalism.

And while there’s nothing “wrong” with Christmas.

It’s the time of year when the” People Pleaser” protective mechanisms come into play.

Many people at this time of year experience heightened levels of stress and anxiety b/c of the chaos and entanglements that exist in their family and extended family structures.

Why is this so?

Well, there’s alot to unpack here.

The first thing to remember is that we’re all on our journey.

Every human is connected to Higher Energy.

What is Higher Energy?

Higher Energy is the Higher Self to which you have access beyond your chaos and entanglements.

The self that knows you to be infinitely worthy, abundant and safe.

However, in this game of life.

We come here and forget that truth.

To experience contrast and free will.

However, along that journey, some of us awakened.

We’ve remembered.

And some of us haven’t reached that level of maturity or evolution in our soul’s journey.

And that’s OK.

Not everyone is meant to awaken from the illusion because everyone plays a part in the greatest evolution.

We’re all here deciding when we want to awaken to the truth.

And in that truth, there’s much inner work to do.

Most people today are highly stressed and sick spiritually.

Suppressed.

Chained to their programming.

It’s heavy and constricting.

They don’t know how to break free.

It’s quite sad.

There’s a saying, “Ignorance is Bliss,” and while that holds some truth, it’s not the only one.

It’s important to bring this awareness to our elders, relatives and family members.

We may be feeling a certain type of way.

Perhaps a family triggers something inside of us.

Or,

We don’t feel that sense of safety in being ourselves and putting boundaries in place.

Whatever it is, KNOW it’s all OK.

It all gets to be here.

Your experience and theirs.

No one gives us manuals for life.

Especially in our uncles, aunts, grandparents, and parents’ age.

So it’s important to bring self-compassion, care and empathy for ourselves and others.

In that self-compassion, we also want to explore the concept of self-love.

Self-love isn’t selfish.

Self-love takes into consideration the whole while prioritizing the self.

Abundance, worthiness, and inner peace all stem from that intention of putting our needs at the forefront for the highest good of all.

Imagine showing up in that energy for our family and friends.

Rather, when we show up in judgment, resentment, anger, or sadness around family because we are not truly authentic within ourselves, this is the deeper-rooted problem.

This is where protective parts like “The People Pleasure” hurt ourselves and others.

People pleaser takes us out of calm and triggers our deepest insecurities.

Fear of being ourselves.

Fear of being abandoned if we’re being ourselves.

I learned this lesson after spending 10 years on Christmas with my in-laws.

I feared telling them I was tired at Christmas and wanted to rest.

(I was burned out from high-stress selling)

Instead, I pushed myself.

I was not being authentic.

It led to me and them feeling detached and disconnected more and more.

When I got into Somatic-healing, I realized I was a textbook “People Pleaser.”

(another reason why I was in sales, which is a whole other convo)

While I love connecting with others, I realized I cannot serve people with my highest energy because of guilt, shame/fear.

I also cannot show up fully when I’m burnt out.

It felt like a finite energy source that left me feeling depleted.

Instead, when I can embrace Love, compassion, care, and gratitude, I can fill my own cup.

I know it’s an unlimited energy I can radiate with others.

However, I could not access that space when I was incoherent.

So, I decided to show up differently.

I decided to do the inner work and transform “People Pleaser.”

Over the last three years, I’ve changed how I interact with others around the holidays.

• I stopped buying and started co-creating experiences with my son, friends and family
• I opted out for Xmas dinners and opt-in for morning tea (I usually nap/sleep for 4-6 hours on Xmas day)
• I work on creative projects and set strong intentions for the New Year
• I create space to focus on my inner world and personal growth
• I close tabs and practice energy hygiene with clients and my business
• I cook for myself and eat healthy (this is key)
• I practice Breathwork, Heart Coherence and Emotional Release to shed old skin to access Higher Energy
• I hired a business coach to assist me in crafting a new vision for 2025

And most importantly,

I no longer do anything out of guilt or obligation.

The result?

I find myself feeling more and more happy for no reason.

Happy holidays, for real.

And guess what?

My in-laws adjusted.

My son is happy.

Everyone and everything is still intact.

And hello, it’s Winter, a time of slowing down, not speeding up.

It’s important to honour our connection to nature and cycles.

To rest, recharge and reset.

In that, choose to trust that our family, friends, and community will support us no matter what.

Now that’s real Love.

A recap to keep you cool, confident and coherent this holiday season. 🎄

• Practice self-compassion for self + others (Google compassionate inquiry Dr. Gabor Mate)

• Challenge yourself to be vulnerable and authentic with family/friends (Remember, people want real more than they are afraid of it)
• Be curious and open with your People Pleaser (ask what it fears or needs?)
• Imagine Christmas on your terms while being in your Highest Energy (who would you be? How would you show up?)
• Set some new boundaries from Love, not fear. Pour into your cup first.
• Hire a coach and treat yourself (Remember: You deserve it, and there are so many amazing coaches and programs out there; find your person or group and jump)
• Develop a Breath practice that helps you be centred and balanced. Download my free-guided track here
• Learn more about Parts Work by Dr. Richard Swartz and gift yourself this book for learning.

I wish everyone a holiday that makes you feel authentically happy on your terms.

Remember to take what resonates and leave the rest.

Keep breath’n,

Kindra Fox

Founder, Speaker and Somatic Guide

Ps.

If you’re curious about learning more about Somatic Healing or meeting with me to discuss your growth goals for 2025, feel free to book a 1:1 call here.